Seven Stages of Loss
by Syaoran's Sakura
Summary: Seven stages, seven stories... *A Sound Horizon drabbles-of-sorts* Rated T just to be safe...
1. Yakusoku no Rouge

_**Authoress' Notes:**__ Ah, I wanted to do something crazy for the last 7 days before my graduation, and I somehow stumbled upon an article on the net about the stages of loss, which is what I think I'm going through right now. And so I searched for fitting songs of Sound Horizon to listen to and made small fics for those, one written for each day. Basically I started yesterday, but for some unfortunate reason I was unable to upload it together with the last chapter of __**The Last Song**__ but now I'm here again! And this time I'll be sure to update everyday because this project is something special to me… For more information I really think you should drop by my profile page to understand... Because I am so late..._

_**Disclaimer: **__I'm gonna marry Heika to own Sound Horizon! *gets multiple shots*_

**Seven Stages of Loss**

**By: **Syaoran's Sakura

**Stage 01:**

_**Yakusoku no Rouge (Norowareshi Pierre)**_

_**Losing**_

Ah, it was like a dream, that particularly moonless night when he left. With an embrace of sadness and a kiss of goodbye he had set off into the uncertain horizon, leaving behind a tearful girl clutching her chest tightly. Held in a vice-like grip of her hand a crimson diamond sparkled with her tears, the crystalline drop sliding down the smooth surface like blood.

"_This diamond, they say that this is the best in the world, so I named it after you, Michele, because you are also the best in the world…"_

The tear seemed to make the blood-red stone glow brighter, as its emotions caressed the woman sleeping within her bloodied cradle. For a moment the woman stirred, distant dreams seemingly pulling her from her paradise of a nightmare, of a male promising her the same thing, of a return that had never come. A frown formed on her painted lips, which was soon replaced by a malicious smile as the woman, relinquishing her contact to the living world, sank back deeper into the murky abyss of her dreams, her lips endlessly chanting as if taunting and mocking the young girl who now held her crimson cage gently.

"_Ah, promises, promises_

_They were never meant to be fulfilled_

_My dear, your wait will be in vain_

_Because promises are meant to be broken_

_Like a fool you'll still wait_

_Until morning and night bade each other goodbye_

_Well then, wait all you want, and while doing so_

_Shall we paint your world red?"_

_**Syaoran's Sakura: **__Ah, so that's the first stage! I do understand if it is not good enough, but to get the whole point straightened out; the girl in the first part is a OC named Michele, and the one speaking in the first part is her lover. The last paragraph is of the Michele the Queen of Bloodbath in Norowareshi Pierre. Any questions you can still ask me! _


	2. A Delusional's Paradise

_**Authoress' Notes:**__ My mom's gonna kill me just for a dress! And that's why I haven't been able to update for the past three days… And this fic is supposed to end in April 6… So I'm gonna bulk-update!_

_**Disclaimer: **__ajsdfhvjbakfheryfioafck nhseriofvi gro… Ah, no weird spell can make me own Sound Horizon…_

**Seven Stages of Loss**

**By: **Syaoran's Sakura

**Stage 02:**

_**A Delusional's Paradise (El no Rakuen [side:E])**_

_**Denial**_

_She must have noticed it at one moment; the heavy, dragged footsteps, the labored breathing, the lengthy drip of thick liquid, the strong, strange coppery scent that laced the air…_

El lazily stroked her father's hair, who was merely sleeping with his head on her lap, his eyes closed with a seemingly perpetual finality, while her own glazed red ones looked up at the sky, past the holes that their thatched roof had opened to let the moonbeams in. her small lips let out a small chuckle at the thought of the stardust falling through the holes, slowly filling their house with golden powder until at last they would be rich, and live a life without worries…

"_**Ah, so that is how Paradise looks like…"**_

_She must have known it, in one twisted way or another, but her childish mind refused to believe in such an idea, so early was she exposed to such thoughts that she had believed herself to have gone mad, than to accept the notion…_

… _That her father is dead._

Pausing her tiny fingers El leaned forward a little, enough so that her lips were dangling in a smile above her father's ear. Then her voice, soft and gentle yet scratchy and broken, poured out of her lips with an innocent question.

"_**Ne, Papa, will we be together in Paradise?"**_

"**Of course, El."**

She frowned slightly at her father's distorted voice, brushing it off as fatigue. She sighed in contented bliss as her fingers resumed their work. Her other hand lay limply beside her, playing with the puddle that was forming beside her.

"_**See? We'll be together…"**_

_She must have known it, from the very beginning… how her eyes glazed as if tears threatened to fall, how her shaking fingers met the still skin that was quickly growing cold, how the floor beneath her slowly became wet and smell of blood… But she was far into her own mind to care… As long as she had her father… And until the very last moment, she had held onto this belief, this false hope for a paradise in such a cruel world…_

_**Syaoran's Sakura: **__I knew Abyss and El would come and haunt me one time… So I had to give in to their presence… I hope I did well! Because I really liked this one… _


	3. A Pledge to the Forgotten

_**Authoress' Notes:**__ My mom's gonna kill me just for a dress! And that's why I haven't been able to update for the past three days… And this fic is supposed to end in April 6… So I'm gonna bulk-update! Now this is for the April 2nd!_

_**Disclaimer: **__…_

**Seven Stages of Loss**

**By: **Syaoran's Sakura

**Stage 03:**

_**A Pledge to the Forgotten (**__**Ishidatami no Akaki Akuma**__**)**_

_**Bargaining**_

For someone who has lost almost everything, Layla thought herself to be holding up pretty well. But with her parents' disappearance and the war that ravaged the continent…

She ran as fast as she could, making sure to stay in the darkest places and run as swift as the wind, but the bowman's arrows proved to be much faster, and one flaming tip found its mark on her body. With heavy breaths she had made her way to a cave hidden deep in the forest.

With a shriek of pain Layla fell to the ground, feeling her eyelids flutter with deathly fatigue. Her sleep, however, was postponed by footsteps, an ominous presence coming from inside the cave that everything seemed to still, even time.

A man now towered over her, and for a moment Layla was terrified of its flame-like hair and torn wings. It was the pair of menacing black horns that explained everything to her; the one in front of her was a demon.

"Shaytận." Layla whispered, her voice shaky.

The man must have ignored her and only chuckled mysteriously, his flame eyes boring into her own, as if delving into her mind and heart. Lastly his gaze fell to the embers of the flaming tip of the arrow embedded still deep in her body. It was then that Layla realized she could no longer feel pain.

"You have awakened me, lady. You have also given me a name. Tell me, how does an eternity of life sound to you?"

Layla blinked, surprise clearly written on her face.

"Your soul seems to be in pain. In exchange for an eternity by my side, I will destroy what it is that you hate the most." Shaytận held out an open hand to her, a smirk on his lips.

Layla stared at the offered hand, her thoughts mixed up in a jumble. A deal with the devil… Surely her father and mother would scorn her for this… but another life… It is a sin to even consider to associate with demons in both of the ideals her parents taught her… and she may even be forgotten within the ever-flowing sands of time… but another chance…

Layla took Shaytận's hand without hesitation.

The flames began to consume her broken body, yet Layla's face held an expression akin to that of melancholic happiness.

"_Even though I am not allowed to die as a human… even so… I… I want to __**live**__."_

_**Syaoran's Sakura: **__I really wanted to write Seisen story, but unfortunately I was in a rather disconcerting mood when I wrote this, and when I reread it I knew I botched the whole thing (not that I do usually botch all things) I am sorry for the poor state this fanfic turned out to be, and I'll make sure to do my best in the next!_


	4. A Scream to the Heavens

_**Authoress' Notes:**__ My mom's gonna kill me just for a dress! And that's why I haven't been able to update for the past three days… And this fic is supposed to end in April 6… So I'm gonna bulk-update! Now this is for the April 3rd!_

_**Disclaimer: **__No amount of fighting will give me SH…_

**Seven Stages of Loss**

**By: **Syaoran's Sakura

**Stage 04:**

_**A Scream to the Heavens (**__**Shiseru eiyuutachi no tatakai -Helomachy-**__**)**_

_**Anger**_

_~Strife and Destruction_

_~Pain and Suffering_

_~Sisters of the Darkened Realm_

_~Walking hand in hand_

_~As history repeats itself _

There was nothing to turn back to now. The rest of the resistance forces and those of the royal army had already fled long ago, taking with them their spoils of war. Now the land was covered with darkness, fire ravaging unburned wood and the corpses that lay within its reach. More of the latter was spread across his path, and he can already see the reapers gleefully collecting _their_ spoils of war.

He took a glance behind him, seeing the body of Arcadia's king, Leontius _(no, his brother)_, lying cold on the charred ground. Beside him was the Queen _(no, their mother)_, her eyes closed in pain far greater than that of physical pain. He had turned around in time to see the Queen of the Amazons, Alexandra, brandish her blade in anguish and make her body its sheath, following her beloved to Thanatos' darkened realm, in her face a blissful smile.

Elef continued to walk on, the dead faces of those people etched on his mind. Misia… He was able to be with her as her soul fled the world, taking out her wings to give flight… And Leontius, dying on the battlefield with people who cared, _no,_ loved him…

_While he, Elef, remains alive… In a world without his sister… without anyone… In a world __**alone… **_

"_**I wonder what color are the flowers that bloom… in a world without your beloved?"**_

_The one destined to be alone… Was it him?_

His fists shook in tight rage as he closed his eyes tightly, screaming at the top of his voice to the heavens, pain and strife and anger and suffering lacing every word.

"_**Moira, is this… Is this the world that you truly desire?"**_

_Stardust has misled mankind once more…_

_**Syaoran's Sakura: **__I knew I wanted to write something for Moira, so I just had the chance! And frankly I think Elef is too angsty for his own good… But that's why I like him! :)_


	5. A Wish to the Depths of Hell

_**Authoress' Notes:**__ My mom's gonna kill me just for a dress! And that's why I haven't been able to update for the past three days… And this fic is supposed to end in April 6… So I'm gonna bulk-update! Now this is for the April 4th!_

_**Disclaimer: **__I'm in despair…_

**Seven Stages of Loss**

**By: **Syaoran's Sakura

**Stage 05:**

_**A Wish to the Depths of Hell (**__**Eru no Ehon [Majo to Rafurenshe]**__**)**_

_**Despair**_

_~Silver hair, scarlet eyes, skin as white as snow_

_Her birth was unknown, where and when_

_From the beginning her life was born out of a rose's lament_

_And till the end her tears will fall unceasingly_

_To turn into the roses that bloom in Hell's gloomy riverbanks~_

Love, it was a curious thing to her, an unknown feeling that she had never felt to the old lady that had taken her in since she was young, an odd predicament that she had seen princesses fall into with their princes in picture books. She grew up without even a trace of love, and she knew she would be well without it.

At her fifteenth birthday her _'gift'_ curse and awakened, and every waking moment of her life from then on was filled with strangled moans and cries of despair from the dead that wished to cross back to the living realm. As she led the old lady's soul to the river to cross over, she had let her tears out, the feeling of remoteness and loneliness fill her up once more as she was swallowed up by the cries of darkness.

_Perhaps, she was born to suffer, a very unlucky being…_

Perhaps it was despair, that sickening sensation that ate at her heart that made her hear the distant sound of lyre, of a human voice singing of lament and sadness so much like her, that she sought him out at once like finding a light at the end of a dark tunnel…

_Having stolen one, she wanted ten; having stolen ten, she wanted hundreds, unmindful of the vow she had taken, heedless of the toll that emotion would take on her… Perhaps it was a retribution for her sin, what be felled her… _

Perhaps it was his despair that led him to deceive her, his own burning desire for his loved one to return that he cared less for those who went in his way…

But she believed her despair to be greater than his, greater enough for her to sing of a cruel curse, for her divide what was forcefully brought together by his deceit.

_Having cried a tear, destiny made her cry a fountain; having cried a fountain, curses made her cry a river…_

_The cruel wheel of her life continues to turn, the endless repeat of laments' sonata pours out of her lips, for having cursed one, she is cursed twofold; for having destroyed one, she herself is destroyed._

_**Syaoran's Sakura:**__ I really liked Lafrenze from the very beginning, and I liked Orpheus and Eurydice's story from mythology as well, so I wrote them both! Heheheeheh, __**Born out of a rose's lament…**__ I wonder what that meant… _


	6. Embrace the Future

_**Authoress' Notes:**__ Ah, April 5__th__… the day before my graduation… we're only a few hour away from the end of this story… And even now I'm all fidgety… because I'm reaching the end… I'm so sad already! I've had many mistakes that I've made the past few days… but now I have come to accept them…_

_**Disclaimer: **__I still can't accept I don't own Sound Horizon…_

**Seven Stages of Loss**

**By: **Syaoran's Sakura

**Stage 06:**

_**Embrace the Future (**__**Hajimari no Chronicle**__**)**_

_**Acceptance**_

_I had always wanted to be the Crow, but you wished for me to be the Beast…_

I hold no grudge against that, no matter how many times we had hurt each other along the way, no matter how many times we fell… I believe it was all part of our life, for us to fall then to rise up again…

_Kindness covers the world, displaying the brilliant smiles__  
><em>_The tears that are shed, becomes the rainbows_

We have tripped over so many times, have hurt each other countless times, and have made mistakes that can't be undone so many times I can't even begin to count. But after every stumble we have stood up, after every fight we have helped each other up, and after every mistake we have continued moving on. The world as we knew it has already changed as we played; there isn't only sadness in the air, but there is also happiness, and people didn't only look forward into the destruction that was said to happen, but people had begun to hope for the future with smiles on their faces.

_Why are you crying? Is it because life is too sad?__  
><em>_At that time, just laugh, just laugh and everything would be better_

We have gone through a lot, and I'm sorry for being unable to stop your tears from flowing in that era. Now all I can do is make you smile, to make you see that this world isn't only about sadness, but also we have people who are there show us that such things as happiness exist.

_Crossing the eternal darkness, welcoming a new age__  
><em>_The handicaps are removed... stories... jump into actions..._

We have lived in a time of darkness, where our wings were frail and broken inside the tiny birdcage we had survived in, and even when we are freed we were still ignorant of the things around us. But now I have come to accept it, that light change that shone upon us that beautiful day, that which gave you wings to take flight with.

_"You always pretend to be Crow, and I always pretend to be Beast.__  
><em>_ To be honest, sometimes I want to be a Crow too. But...__  
><em>_ It's not like that. Not bird nor monster.__  
><em>_ I think, I finally found my own character..."_

The end is drawing near, and before then I had found the truth emotion that I had been looking for. I wasn't a Beast nor you a Crow that we had believed we were; we are humans, who each have their own stories waiting to be told, each with a tear or a smile to behold.

_If you decide to become the white bird, and then let me be your sky__  
><em>_No matter where you decide to go, I will believe in you until I die..._

The end is drawing near, and my story is about to reach its conclusion, but I know you will still continue on, because you are stronger than me, and I have come to accept that too. At least as you go off on your own I want to be by your side. I want to laugh and cry with you, and forget our past and search for the future together.

The end is drawing near, but we will still move on.

_"No matter what trouble finds you, don't ever give up.__  
><em>_The horizon crosses between beginning and time__(Chronicle)__  
><em>_ This is between you and me, the only promise..."_

_**Syaoran's Sakura: **__Ah, I don't even know what got me to write this whole thing. I was listening to Hajimari no Chronicle, and this monologue was what came into my mind. I guess I took advantage of the song for some parts to vent out my own feelings about graduating… I really think this is like a lost story… because I don't even know who is the speaker… But it is the one who plays the Beast… But I promise you the end will be epic! I intend to do it so…_


	7. Beyond the Sandy Clouds

_**Authoress' Notes:**__ … I'm sorry! I know I was supposed to update a long time ago but… Okay, I'll end my ramblings for now and let you all the epic-fail end of the __**Seven Stages of Loss!**_

_**Disclaimer: **__..._

**Seven Stages of Loss**

**By: **Syaoran's Sakura

**Stage 07:**

_**Beyond the Sandy Clouds (Haritsuke no Seijo and Saijin no Kanata e)**_

_**Moving On**_

_Time flies by, swifter than an arrow flies, and still I continue to live._

The news of your death, and your mother's execution made a great impact on my life, and even if I wasn't able to be there, I can hear your mother's screams from the town square as I clamp my hands over my ears, tears streaming down my cheeks.

_Time flies by, swifter than an arrow flies, and still I continue to grieve._

Darkness seemed darker than ever, the bright field we were playing on was reduced to a monochromatic color, as my time without you went on. At time like those it seemed as if ending my life would make everything easier, but there was that promise, that you will come back for me, that made me keep on living.

_Time flies by, swifter than an arrow flies, and still I continue to believe._

Years have went and gone, and still I continued to hold onto those wild roses we had found, together with the promise we have made. I know it is nearly impossible for you to keep your end of the promise, but even so I will keep my own; I'll wait for you to come back for me.

_Time flies by, swifter than an arrow flies, and still I continue to hope._

I know that my time is almost up, as I can feel that numbing coldness slowly sweeping through my painful body. The sky seemed brighter then, as for the last time I recall you voice. I'm sorry for leaving you like this just when you came back, but I don't want to take the revenge that you had offered. I have taken this burden upon myself; for I swore die with my truth. Seeing you, even after all those years and tears, is enough for me. I am happy for that alone.

_Time flies by, swifter than an arrow flies, and still I continue to wait._

I might not know what happens after this, but wherever place I might find myself in; I will stay true to my vow. I realize know that in those years of waiting, I have come to learn to love you. And so I will wait for that time, when you'll be able to cross that boundary between life and death, so that we can be together again.

_Time flies by, swifter than an arrow flies, and still I continue to pray._

The wind from the east blows steadily as it carries my song. The dusk has already turned into dawn, and the radiant sun has started to ascend from the horizon. Hands clasped together and eyes closed, I continue to pray, hoping that, within this beautifully dazzling era, beyond the sandy clouds, we may meet once more.

_Time flies by, swifter than an arrow flies, and still I continue to smile, for you who have given happiness to me._

_**Ende**_

_**Syaoran's Sakura: **__In the end, I wrote something for Märchen. (sigh) Oh well, I really can't get over Elisabeth's story… And no, that's not a typo on the end… So that's the end of my story! (too baffled to type properly right now) Thank you to those who have read and waited(rather patiently), especially the people of SanHora forums, and a certain __**pika318**__**-san**__ and __**Schauspielerinnen**__**-san…**__ That's all! Thank you!_


End file.
